Well, I made it. After all the anxiety about driving six hours by myself I made it safely to my parent's house in LA! The drive wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I didn't sleep very well the night before so I was pretty tired still. And it was supposed to be raining. So before I even started I was a little anxious. But I told myself I wouldn't push myself and that I would just take each mile at a time. And surprisingly I was fine. I took it at my own pace and amazingly I was pretty awake and alert! Counting the two times that I stopped for food and gas I made it to LA in six and a half hours. It only rained twice while driving and for not very long.
Since I was by myself driving for that long I had a lot of time to think. I have been REALLY anxious about what happened at Kevin's hearing. I'm still in shock of what his old boss said and how Kevin was treated that it's been all that I can think about and even as much as I try to not think about it I can't stop. So for a lot of the trip I thought about the whole situation.
But then I thought about something different. Tuesday night while Kevin and I were laying in bed talking, I was feeling sorry for myself. I was looking back at the time that we've been here in AZ and how many trials and struggles we've had, and I started thinking if moving here was the right thing. Sure we worked two jobs each in Fresno and were so tired all the time...but we didn't have all the drama and stress there that we've had here in AZ. So while I was driving I had a different outlook on it. I have grown SOOOO much since being here in AZ. The person that I am today is NOT the person that I was in Fresno. Before moving to AZ I was really naive. For some reason I just assumed that things would be brought to me on a silver platter - that I wouldn't have to work really hard at it. I hated cooking and cleaning so I let Kevin do all that. I didn't want to have anything to deal with the finances so Kevin dealt with that. Since moving to AZ I have had to deal with a lot:
- Selling our house in CA and trying to buy our house in AZ (HUGE mess)
- Having Kevin's mom live with us
- Kevin losing his job twice
Through each one of these trials (and the trials coming from those trials) I have grown up sooo much! I am not the person today that I was two years ago. I am much more responsible. I am much more assertive and won't let people (aka Kevin's mom) walk all over me. I cook, clean, and pay the bills. I have learned that I can't just assume that everything will work out...I have to make an effort and make sure that I do my part to have things work out (as much as I can). And even though I know I still have a lot of trials coming my way I am thankful for what I have been through in the last two years and the person that I've become.
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