So today I stayed home from work because I'm sick. Normally I do not stay home if I'm sick...I just muddle through it. Last night I was really having a hard time sleeping and I actually got out of bed to get up to take a shower when I needed to but I wasn't feeling really good and I thought it would be better to just stay home to try and get some rest. So I've been home all day...I've tried to rest...I caught up on some TV shows online. I also finished a book that I started reading yesterday. I probably should have slept but I wasn't tired enough to sleep. I'm still feeling bad but I hope to be feeling better tomorrow so I can go back to work.
Last night my visiting teaching supervisor called me to see how we did with visiting teaching this month (at that exact moment my companion was out visiting our sisters...me home because I'm sick). While we were talking she asked if I heard that they were going to be splitting me and my companion up because our schedules didn't match up. My companion's a stay at home mom...and I work. I know they mean well...but it just made me feel like I was being ostrasized again because I don't have any kids and I have to go to work. It's something that I feel a lot...but I've tried to not let it bother me... But when it seems EVERYONE around you has like three kids and the wife is able to stay home it just makes me wonder...what's wrong with me? I remember a couple of weeks after we moved into the house the Relief Society presidency came over to visit me. One of them asked me if we had any kids. I said we didn't. She then asked me how long we've been married. When I told her we had been married for three and a half years her was response was "Oh". I felt like I was being judged because we didn't have kids yet. It's not like we've done this on purpose...it's not like we haven't been trying to get pregnant for the whole time we've been married. Maybe people have different plans in life. Why do people in the Church just expect you to get married and to have kids right away? Most people don't have infertility issues...but there are some of us who do... So then are we bad people? Are we not as worthy? Since we've moved here I've really wanted to make friends...but I have a hard time relating with mothers...I want to feel included. But it seems that since we don't have kids we aren't included as much as if we did. But there's nothing I can do to change people's outlook on things so I guess I'll just have to deal with it and move on...
So this weekend we're going camping! (Hopefully we'll both be feeling good enough to go!) It's been a long time since I've been camping...I went with a group from my singles ward back in 2001. We're going with Kevin's best friend's family and another family. It will be nice to get away and to enjoy nature...and it will be nice to camp someplace other than our backyard!
On Friday I have to take Tigger to the vet. We think he has an eye infection. Over the weekend we noticed there was a lot of drainage and then when we looked closer...his eye was red. We were hoping that it would work it's course but it hasn't gotten any better so today I called and made an appointment to take him in. Poor guy! I feel so bad for him! He's a trooper though...he hasn't let it bother him too much...he still runs around and acts like himself.
One of the shows I was watching this morning online was Hopkins. It's a documentary kind of show that following doctors at Johns Hopkins Hospital. I really enjoyed it. For some weird reason I am really interested in the medical field. A part of me would love to be a nurse...so that I could help patients feel better...that I could make a difference in someone's life.
Anyway, I guess that's enough rambling for one day...see you later!
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