A Little Scared

So these last couple of months things have work have been getting a little scary. We've had several meetings that weren't so positive. A couple of months ago they told us not to be worried about our jobs. The market is just getting worse and worse. So today we're at work, just doing our thing when we get an email to meet in the large conference room in five minutes. I knew that could only mean bad news. So we meet in there and our big boss told us they laid off one of the underwriters. We were shocked! We knew things were bad...but we didn't think it was getting to the point of lay offs! All of us just sat there stunned. We didn't know what to think. One of my co-workers asked if there were going to be anymore lay offs. They said the weren't sure...that they didn't know. So that did not ease any of our fears.

But I am especially scared because I am the next lowest in terms of seniority. The underwriter they let go started only two weeks after I started. So I am scared. Could I be next? Just think...I could go to work thinking it would be a normal day...I would be working at my desk. One of the bosses would come over and ask me to come with her...next thing I know I'm being escorted out of the building. So since the meeting I've been weighing my options. I don't want to be that person who goes to work one day only to find out that I don't have a job. I don't want to have the stress of being unemployed, worrying about how we're going to pay our bills. So after talking with Kevin, I'm going to be looking for some new avenues, and if something comes along that is reasonable I'll take it. It seems only a matter of time before something happens. But it makes me sad because I love my job. I finally was promoted into the position I wanted. And to think about trying to find another job is really scary. Do I try and find another job in insurance? Do I branch out and try something new? Is there any way that I can find another job that pays as much as my current one with only an associate's degree? With the same benefits?

Our department wasn't the only one affected. The other two departments on the floor also had to let someone go. So today was a very somber day. Our safety net was taken out from under us. I just wish that I could go to my boss and ask her what's going to happen the next time they have to let someone go...but I know I can't do that. It's just a little unnerving.