You know...it's a funny thing when you buy a pet. You know you will outlive them...you know you will have to deal with the part where they pass away. But yet we still bring these pets home. We still are willing to love them for however long they are with us, no matter how long they are with you...but it is still devastating when it comes time for them to leave this world.
Joey is still with us. I wish I could say he was doing better. The last couple of days his new favorite place in our bedroom is on the floor on my side of the bed under one of the windows. He prefers to lay on something - he doesn't like just the floor - so he's content with laying on books, papers. He hasn't begged for tuna today. I gave him tuna juice and he didn't really want it. I did, however, buy some kitty treats that we knew that he loved and he did eat some of those. But he's not touching his other food. He's drinking a ton, peeing a ton. But that's about it. He's just laying around. He was good with our neighbor, Paige, when she came over this afternoon. He was good with my sister. But he bit my mom...I think he did it more becuase Tigger was at the door meowing to come in and that was threatening to him and my mom just happened to be there to get the brunt.
He did scare me once today. I went into our bedroom. When I looked at his favorite spot he wasn't there. I started to get a little paniced. Thankfully I found him laying next to the toilet. But that made me start crying because I knew it was only a matter of time before ...
And that leads me to my next subject. What is the humane thing to do? Am I being selfish? Is he in too much pain? How long do we let this go on? What if he still has some fight left - which I know won't be a permanent fix, but at least he would be with us a little longer. But then a part of me (I know this will sound horrible but it's the truth) wishes he would leave this world now so that we could get on with grieving and not having to worry about if we're going to find his lifeless body somewhere. I just don't want him to be in any pain. I need to leave him in Heavenly Father's hands and trust that He will do what is best for Joey...as hard as that might be.
I know he's just a cat and some might wonder why I'm so upset. But he is my baby. We brought him home when he was ten weeks old. He has been the cat that used to come to me whenever I called him, whenever I was having a hard time. He would always sleep next to me at night. He is one of my kids. My cats are my kids. I love them so much. So losing him is like losing an actual human child...okay...so maybe not as devastating, but still very hard to be confronted with.
It's been a long day. Last night I fell asleep on the couch. I woke up when Kevin was getting ready to leave for rotations - around 5:30. And I've been up since. I'm really tired. So I'm going to try and go to bed now. I have to go to work tomorrow so I need to get some rest so that I can deal with everything I need to get done there.
1 comment:
I'm so sorry, Cindy! When I was 16 we had these two dogs; Hunter (Doberman Pincher 8yrs) and Libby (Dachshund 16 yrs). They were always there and they were part of the family. When we learned that Hunter had bone cancer we decided to put him to sleep so he wouldn't have to suffer. We also decided (as a family) to put Libby to sleep too because she was so old and the two of them were inseparable.
The vet made a house call and we were all there as they peacefully went to sleep. But it was so hard. I'm afraid I'm getting teary eyed as I write.
Now we have an old, 15 year old dog named Casey. He was 7 when we got him from the Humane Society. Every year we keep thinking he won't last much longer, but he keeps on going. Unfortunately, his arthritis is getting really bad and I feel so sad for him. I fear the day we find him sleeping and he doesn't wake up. He's so tired and slow anymore that I've thought it's happened more than once.
Loosing pets is so painful. I hope you can find some peace at such a difficult time in your life right now! Love you!
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